Fury (New Adult Romance) - #1.5 Fierce Series Page 16

  He pushes her, and she falls to the floor. People briefly glance at them, not looking even remotely interested in what’s going on. “If I ever see you here again, I will rip your throat out,” he yells, storming away like an ape-man.

  The people around us are still dancing, talking, drinking. Nobody bats an eye at the girl whimpering on the floor. So once Wes has left the room, I walk over to her and hold out my hand to help her get up.

  “T-thanks,” she stammers, pulling her ripped dress back down.

  “You should get out of here,” I say.

  “I can’t.”

  I lean in closer. “Why not? It’s not safe here. You see what they do to girls like you. What are you doing here anyway?” I take her with me back to the entrance of the club so I can safely get her out of here before Wes comes back.

  “I need the money,” she whimpers, her eyes still watery.

  Shit. It’s breaking my heart just looking at a girl like this. She’s young, probably not even eighteen yet. Fuck. What’s wrong with these dudes?

  I rummage in my pockets and sigh. “Here. Take this.” I push the money Wes gave to me into her hand.

  “What? I can’t take this,” she says.

  “Don’t. Just take it, and promise me you’ll go looking for a better job than this. Don’t come back here.” There’s an intensity in my voice, which I think she can’t ignore.

  She nods and sniffs.

  “Good. Now get out of here.”

  “Thank you,” she says, tears rolling down her cheeks as she runs out the door, up the stairs, and vanishes. A sigh of relief passes my lips as I rub my temple with my fingers. This is getting more fucked up by the minute, and I’m not sure I can keep this up. I need to find out who the leader is, fast, before this whole thing blows up in my face. Before Wes finds out I’ve been spying for the enemy all along. I know he won’t take it lightly. I’ll just have to brace myself for the day when either I’ll come for him or he’ll come for me. But once this is all over, I’ll make sure he can never, never, hit a girl again.

  Chapter 19

  Affection

  The next day …

  I feel like I walked a thousand miles yesterday. So many things happened. Trading drugs to an addicted mom, going to the movies with Leafy, and then the party with Alpha Psi. It’s a lot to process, and I think I have to pen down some stuff fast before I start to forget.

  So when I get up I immediately write down everything important, from the name of the druggie mom, to a summary of everything that happened at the club. It’s then I realize that I still haven’t done any homework. Shit.

  I run my fingers through my hair. A knot forms in my stomach, because I don’t want to disappoint my brother, and I really want to succeed. It’s just a bit harder than I anticipated. I can’t do it alone. I need Leafy for this.

  So I decide to go to her in the hopes that she’ll help me with my homework. My heart is already going haywire just from the thought of seeing her again, even if it’s only for studying. I enjoy every minute I spend with her.

  I knock on her door, and she turns around in her chair, wiping away what I think are tears. “Hey. Everything okay?” I hope she’s all right, because she doesn’t look the part. I’m worried.

  “Not sure,” she says, sighing.

  Crap. I really came in at a bad time. She seems upset about something, and I don’t want to bother her with my shit if she has other things on her mind. “I was gonna ask you to be my study buddy today, but if you’re feeling crappy, I can come back another time.”

  I turn around, but she grabs my hand, and I stay put. Her touch sends delicious shocks through my body and cock. God, the effect she has on me is growing every fucking day, and I don’t know what to do about it.

  “No, wait,” she says, her voice sounding so sweet … it’s as if she’s begging me. How can I say no to that?

  She lets go of my hand again and I turn around. “Um … I could use some distraction.”

  “You sure? I mean, studying isn’t really a distraction, more a bore,” I say.

  I don’t count studying as a distraction, more as a difficult chore. I can think of plenty of other things to do that count as a nice distraction. A cheeky smile spreads across my face, because I’m thinking about kissing her right here, right now.

  “To you it is. I think it’s fun,” she muses while we walk to my room.

  Hmm … Fun? Is that what she calls fun? Throwing her on my bed and making out with her while fondling her pussy is what I call fun. “I can think of a few more things that are way more fun to do …” I chuckle from the thoughts alone. She tenses up as I say that, her eyes widening while she closes the door behind her. She’s still being really uptight about this thing going on between us, and I’d love for her to just give it up to me. Being straight-up blunt with her might do the trick.

  “Like having girls on my lap,” I add.

  One peek at her makes me smile wickedly. A flush spreads across her cheeks, and I turn around just before she starts to scold me for saying what’s on my mind. I sit down on my bed and grab a few books lying around. I think it’s best to shift the topic to what we were supposed to do, since she’s not ready for me yet. “I tried this morning,” I say, looking down at the pages.

  Her pine-forest scent drifts past my nose and alerts me to the fact that she is sitting down beside me. I shouldn’t let myself get distracted so much. “Could you tell me how you do it?” I say, clearing my throat and holding up the book.

  Her lips part and she stares at me for a second in bewilderment. “Yeah, of course.”

  She helps me work through my homework, just like last time. When my memory issues become too visible, I try to make stupid jokes to cover it up, but I think she’s on to me. She has this look in her eyes, like she knows what’s wrong, and it scares me. I don’t want her to find out yet. I want to be her protector, her lover, the simple but smart one. I don’t want to be the one who can’t remember anything he’s taught. I just want to be the best I can be, at least in her eyes.

  So I keep trying to make it work and force myself to listen to her, even when I’m out of energy. After a while I realize I can’t keep up with her pace. It pains me to admit it, but it’s true, and I don’t like to be confronted with it.

  “I can’t do this.” I sigh and throw the book away, lowering my head so I don’t have to look at her. I feel like a failure sometimes.

  She pets my back, and I can feel each finger separately as she runs them across my spine. It gives me goose bumps and an erection.

  “Don’t say that. You’ll get it eventually,” she says.

  It’s nice that she wants to give me hope. She doesn’t know that my situation is hopeless, though. “No, I won’t.” It’s useless to try and be better at this. I’ll never be as good as her. Not even close. I probably won’t even be good enough to finish college. “Goddammit … I tried everything. Asking you to help me out was one of the few things I thought would help.”

  She raises her eyebrows at me, her compassionate eyes staring straight into my fucked-up soul. “But it can, if you give it some more time. It takes a little more effort to really get the hang of how to do it fast.”

  “No! You don’t get it. I ….” What am I supposed to say? What’s telling her that I have a learning disability going to do for me? I know what it’ll do. She’ll think I’m stupid, just like everyone else. I don’t want that look of pity from her. Anyone but her.

  “You what?” she says.

  I close my mouth and grind my teeth in frustration. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut from the beginning.

  “What, Hunter? You can tell me.” Her eyes are filled with gentle kindness. Should I tell her? I don’t want to ruin this thing that’s happening between us, and I’m afraid that if I tell her, she won’t like me anymore. But every time I look into her eyes, there’s something boiling inside me, desperate to get out. There’s nothing I want more than to trust her, to have a deeper connection with her
. Maybe sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and just go for it.

  I sigh. “I think I have a learning disability. Trouble with remembering …”

  Her jaw drops, and it’s exactly what I was afraid of seeing. “Are you sure?”

  What? What kind of question is that? “Yes, I’m sure. I just can’t prove it. That’s why I can’t use it as an excuse.”

  She frowns, clearly confused. “But how do you know then?”

  How could I not know? I deal with it every single day of my life. There isn’t a moment that passes when it doesn’t bother me. What bothers me even more is that I know exactly why I am the way I am. That I have my mother to thank for all the shit in my life … it’s too much. I can’t tell her. This is my misery, not hers.

  “I’m not really in the mood to tell my entire history, all right?” I say, sighing.

  She looks down at the bed, pouting. “Sorry … I didn’t mean to be so pushy. I just …”

  She’s right, but it’s okay. She’s always curious. That’s just the way she is, and I accept that. But I don’t want her to feel bad about it. “I know … You want to help me. You think it’s pitiful, and that’s exactly why I do not tell anyone. Ever.”

  “I don’t think it’s pitiful. It doesn’t make you weak. You have to work twice as hard as anyone else to memorize the same material,” she says, smiling. “The only thing it does is make you more powerful, because you have to overcome this and become stronger in order to survive.”

  My mouth opens, but I have no idea what to say. I’m shocked. After what I told her, she still wants to make me feel better. She doesn’t even seem to care about my condition. It doesn’t make her less kind to me. I’m baffled, amazed at her ability to turn this around into a positive thing. I never expected her to react this way, and I’m thankful for it.

  I feel much better now, knowing that it’s okay. “Thanks.”

  My smile is genuine, grateful. I’m glad that she’s here. She makes me feel better about myself and the world. And I can’t resist her blush either.

  She’s timid, and turns her head away from me, looking at the photograph standing on my desk. It’s my brother on the day he got his first paycheck. I still remember that beaming smile on his face when he came home with it. Silly, for most people, but to us it was amazing. I’d never been more proud of my brother, and I was happy that things were finally looking up for us. So I took a picture to make it eternal, because I knew it wouldn’t last. Nothing good lasts forever. Not for us.

  She grabs the frame and gazes at it, her finger running over the glass. She looks intrigued.

  “My brother, Jessie,” I say.

  “You two really look alike.”

  Everybody says that, although I really can’t see it. “You’re not the first to say that.”

  “He looks nice.”

  Yeah, if she says he looks like me, then of course he looks nice. But that means she thinks I look hot, too, so I like the idea. Maybe that makes me arrogant, but I don’t care. Not that Jessie would be anything like me. He’s much more reckless, much more energetic, and sometimes I think I’m the one trying to fix the shit he’s broken.

  Nah, I don’t think she’d like him at all. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew him.”

  “Why not? Does he fight everyone he meets too?” She puts the frame back where it was. “Something like that.”

  I hold my breath, looking at her. I’m not so sure I should tell her more, because maybe she’ll start asking more questions, which I know I won’t be able to answer. Not without endangering her and the entire operation.

  “Worse?” she asks.

  “Way, way worse.”

  She glares at me with parted lips and furrowed brows, obviously not giving up until I spill it. I want to learn to trust people, so maybe I should start with her.

  “He’s in jail,” I say.

  Her mouth opens wide, wider than I imagined.

  “I told you I’d love to trade my life with someone else,” I say. I’d pretty much do anything for a normal life, whatever that is.

  “But I thought you said you had to save your brother, Jessie?”

  “Yes, I have to get him out of jail.” The more we talk about it, the more I get upset. Each time I’m reminded of my brother stuck in that hellhole is one thought too many. I crack my knuckles in frustration. “But it’s fucking difficult to get it done, and it’s fucking hard to deal with right now.”

  “Wow … What did he do?” she asks, unable to keep her curiosity at bay.

  “Does it matter? I just want to get him out of there as fast as possible. You don’t know how terrible it is in there.” Just talking about this is getting me nervous and angry.

  I get up from the bed and start pacing around, feeling cornered. My head is crowded with thoughts. What the hell am I doing here? I shouldn’t be studying right now, I shouldn’t even be talking to her. I should be doing everything to get my brother out!

  “But … if he’s in there, he’s safe, right?” she says, and it’s seriously not helping.

  I snort, shake my head, and ball my hands into fists. “No. Life in prison is hard. Especially if you don’t deserve it.”

  Jessie didn’t deserve any of this. None of us did. He did what he had to do to survive, to keep us alive. And he got punished for it.

  I’m really getting furious now. It feels like I’m wasting my time here, like I’m waiting instead of acting. It’s what Jessie wants, to let me have a normal life, but I hate having to just sit around and do nothing.

  Unable to keep my temper, I bellow out loud. “Fuck! He’s my fucking big brother, and he’s fucking locked up with murderers just because he tried to take care of me.” I ram my fists into the wall, the pain reverberating through every bone in my body. It temporarily numbs the emotions, but not long enough.

  “Don’t!” she screams, but just the look on my face keeps her at bay.

  “Goddammit!” I pound the wall a couple more times. “It’s so hard without him. I just can’t …”

  There’s nothing I can say that will make this better, so I shut my mouth. Nothing helps to get him out of there. Talking about him like this makes me realize I miss him more than anything. I need him in my life, and now that he’s gone, I feel lost.

  I sink to the floor, burying my head in my arms, trying to escape from all of this. I’m tired of having to shoulder this burden on my own, of having to deal with this crap every single day without there being a glimpse of hope for the future. The only positive thing in my life has been her: Leafy.

  Suddenly I feel her hand on my shoulder, slowly moving down toward my back, caressing me as she goes. She’s so soft and gentle, and her warm embrace feels like a cocoon enwrapping me.

  “He’s the only one I have. The only one,” I say. “There’s no one else. And now he’s gone too.”

  She wraps her arms around me, shushing me while sliding her hands up and down my back. I need her so much right now that I throw everything out the window and just grab onto her and hold her tight. I pull her closer, burying my head in her hair, sniffing up her scent like it’s my drug. It’s almost soothing. It calms me down feeling her against me, hearing her rising heartbeat in her neck, knowing she’s here for me when I need her.

  “The day I got the phone call I was so mad I smashed it to pieces,” I say, my voice croaky.

  It’s okay,” she says. “I’m here for you if you need me.”

  It feels nice to hear her say that. I don’t think anyone ever has. It makes me feel like I’m not alone.

  After a while I feel much better, but then it dawns on me that I just broke down in front of the girl I swore not to break down in front of again. Shit.

  “Look at me,” I say, sighing, laughing partially. “Spilling all my beans to some girl on campus.” Damn, that came out like she doesn’t mean a thing to me, and it’s actually the opposite.

  “I’m not some girl,” she says, winking at me. “I’m the Leafy.”

&nbs
p; I chuckle at her comment. It’s the first time she’s referred to herself by the name I gave her. I don’t remember what her real name is; I know she probably told me at least a couple dozen times. I hope she’s okay with me calling her Leafy. It’s my way of telling her I like her more than other girls.

  “Sounds better coming from your mouth,” I say.

  I draw in a deep breath, settling my emotions so I can move on. This was a one-time thing I don’t intend to repeat. “God, if any one of the guys finds out about this, I’m dead meat.”

  “Why?” she asks, as we get up from the floor.

  “The guys I hang out with aren’t as innocent and sweet as you are, Leafy,” I say, laughing.

  She frowns. “What do you do with them anyway?”

  Oh, the questions again. “Nothing good.”

  The door bursts open all of a sudden. Jaret steps inside, and the moment I see his face I wince. I hope he’s not here to bring bad news.

  “Crap, sorry,” he says, fumbling with something in his pants. I’m guessing that something is either money or drugs.

  “No, it’s no problem, dude,” I say, and I turn my head toward Leafy. “That’s my roommate. Jaret Paxon.”

  “Autumn Blakewood,” she stammers while shaking hands with him.

  Jaret doesn’t even take the time to look at her, and his attention is immediately given to me. “Sorry, dude, but I don’t have much time for small talk. I’ve got another delivery for you to make, and something else.”

  Shit. Not again. “Now?”

  “Yes, the boss wants it done today.”

  Crap. Why does it have to be now? Right when I’m finally trying to make something of this study debacle, they have more chores for me. However, I know I can’t refuse.

  “Fine. Let’s go,” I say, grabbing my coat.

  “Huh? Where are you guys going? What’s going on?” Leafy says, her brows drawing together. I’m not going to answer her question. She’s asked enough, and she’s got enough answers for today. I’d rather not have her know about this. Especially not when she’s finally loosening up around me.